Daily life in Bobs...and camping on the Salt Pans

August 28,2011

Ya, so I’ve been a crackhead. In other words, I feel like I have been dying from pithiyis rosea, which is an autoimmune skin disease, where basically I break out in a rash all over my body, and just scratch until I feel like I am on fire. It started on my chest. Then onto the back. Then EVERYWHERE…and that include my head and face. By Monday, I was back in Gabs, after leaving the previous Thursday, and the doctors give me their worried look, give me an antihistamine shot, and sent directly to the dermatologist, who is unsure if I should be sent to the hospital. Luckily, they just dosed me with steroids, and placed in a hotel room to my own scratching devices. The thing about this rosea, I could have gotten it here, or I could have gotten it at home. So either way, this was gonna suck. After triple doses of steroids a day for a week, I am only getting weak stares from people. I seriously look like I have lepersy. LOVE IT. At least people have stopped hitting on me. Lol. instead I just get “uh….what’s wrong? What happened to you?” and might I add, these are strangers on combis that are asking me this directly with no dumelas or o tsogiles for a buffer. Though, people don’t seem to hesitate about touching me. They just grab my arm “WHAT’S WRONG?!” lol. And they are all convinced that it is something that I ate and am allergic to. I just let them believe whatever they want to believe, it’s too much of a hassle for me to explain what it really is. Either that, or people think that I’m HIV positive, which wouldn’t be so farfetched with where I am at. Oh well, people can believe whatever they want to believe, don’t think I’ll be seeing any of them again.

On the up side, I am going out and eating everything in sight. And it am SOOOOOOOO happy. I never realized how difficult going without a choice of food would have been. I have seriously not paid any respect to saving when it comes to food. I have cravings and I must satisfy them. so little piggy, Amanda, has reappeared in these past 2 weeks. I am going to list all the foods that I ate and thoroughly enjoyed. As I write these down, I want to you think about how EASY it is for you to get it. And then, I need you to be grateful for all the options that you have. Here we go: nachos, pizza, eggs benedict, chicken burgers, pizza, chow mein, pizza, dumplings, shrimp, real coffee, tortilla, lasagna, butter chicken, ice cream, pizza, pad thai, breakfast burritos, Indian food, egg drop soup, sandwiches, muffins, hummus, cake, mojito, and tortilla chips. And we only get this…once every 5 months here, that is IF AND ONLY IF you go to gabs.  And IF AND ONLY IF you are in the heart of gabs where it is easy to travel around. IF AND ONLY IF you are there for a week with absolutely nothing to do except think about food (like me J ). And as we all know, food is very important to me. Haha, so I made sure I ate everything I possibly could. But I can say, even though I was sick and ripping my skin off, I was very happy that I had the chance to eat everything in sight. It was ALMOST worth it. Haha.

August 30, 2011

My first day in my house…FINALLY. Yes, I know it’s been a while, but the day finally came. After not much tending to previously, I get back about a month later from IST/medical difficulties. My house is a MESS. There is a later of dust EVERYWHERE. I guess it has been windy, and it’s just been blowing dust right under the doors. My bath tub is matted in grim and dirt, and there is an uninvited tenant chilling in my bathroom sink, a cockroach. There are spiders and mosquitoes frolicking around in my bedroom. There is still no kitchen sink or cabinet in the kitchen. And a thick layer of dirt covering my empty sitting room, which my country director mistakened for a storage room, since there was nothing in there but bags.

Anyways, I get to my house and finally just drop my stuff after I had been gone in gabs for 3.5 weeks, a week longer than expected due to this annoying rosea (which makes me want to scratch my leg off right now…fuck). I am hungry. But I can’t cook anything because the stove isn’t set up yet. I hook up my gas to the stove. Test it out. Sweet it works. Shit…there is dust everywhere. So I can’t start cooking until I clean the oven. I wipe off the stove with some cleaner which I had bought before leaving (thank god). I do a thorough wipe down…and then heat up some ham and cheese potato balls that I had gotten from gabs the day before (luckily they were still edible after a day of traveling). I go and spray my bathroom with doom to try to kill all the bugs crawling around in the bathroom, mostly spiders, but some flying bugs. I close the bathroom to let the bugs suffocate a bit. Then I go and wipe off the fridge. Sweep the kitchen. Eat. Go back to the bathroom. Start on the tub. Shit, there is still brown dirt stains on it. I can’t seem to get them out, no matter how hard I scrub. no one else’s bare ass has used this tub, and it is still dirty as fuck. I hate when new things are not like new. It just bothers me. Looks like I’m gonna have to find myself some bleach. i take my soap box and shoo the cockroach out of my sink. I finally get it on the ground, and kick it outside. I’m not about ready to squish it, cuz it’s just gonna make more of a mess. I’ll let it fend for itself outside. Wash out my sink. Wash out my toilet. Do my dishes in the bath tub, because I have no kitchen sink. Spray my room down with doom, in hopes of killing all the bugs that are crawling and flying around my bedroom. Then off to Phikwe to grab the groceries that I need, like spices and cleaning supplies (btw, Phikwe is an hour hitch away from Bobs).

I get back from Phikwe 4 hours later. I apparently bought way too much stuff. My backpack is stuffed, and I’m still carrying another bag. And they are fricking heavy. I still have a 30 minute walk from the bus rank, carrying heavy bags, and it’s getting dark. SWEET. I am basically staggering sideways home lugging all this crap. 45 minutes later, I finally make it home with bag imprints dug into my scarred blistery hands. And there is no electricity. AWESOME. Why? Because, apparently my landlord didn’t buy anymore electricity. Luckily, after about 15 minutes of fumbling around, they find the receipt of the electricity, and it’s back on...except for my kitchen light. Luckily my landlady and her kid are awesome. and they fix my light…AND give me chairs! CHAIRS!!! THANK YOU! Haha. She gets her daughter to pull up a barrel to check on the kitchen light. The bulb has fallen out of the filament, they replace it. My landlady is pretty awesome. she doesn’t speak any English, but when I need it, she’s there and understands. I’m gonna learn a lot from her, I can tell. Anyways, they go and find me a new lightbulb. LET THERE BE LIGHT! YAY! I do a little dance. J Now I have light in all my rooms. Baby steps…eventually this house will get itself together. Next, I fill my tub with a bleach and water mixture and just start scrubbing. Nope…nothing. Ok, fine, I’ll just let it soak. I’ll cook instead. But first, I need to wash all the dishes that I plan on using in the bath tub since they have been sitting in my “storage” room for the past 2 months and I have no kitchen sink still. I attempt to make a walnut alfredo ravioli dish. Epic fail. I find myself attempting to grate parmesan cheese on the floor or the plastic chair that my landlady has let me borrow. It is a no go. The grater sucks and does not mesh well with the height options of grating. I don’t care anymore. I just pour my food into a bowl, and just sit on the kitchen floor. I am eating on my kitchen floor and staring at the doorway because I have nowhere else to eat. I don’t care how dirty it is. I am exhausted. Shit, I still need to clean my tub again. Hopefully the bleach has helped get rid of the stains. NOPE. Still stains. I scrub and scrub. no go. UGH…I am so tired…all I want to do is bath and go to sleep! Forget it, I’ll try again tomorrow. I’ll just fill up the kettle to get some hot water going. GOD DAMMIT. The kitchen cleaner has spilled all over my groceries and on the kitchen floor. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME. It really is one of those days. It has spilled on the floor, luckily it spilled mostly in the bag with the canned tuna. I wipe off the canned goods…and just pour the kitchen cleaner in the tub. I guess it’ll just be another way to attempt to clean my tub. Of course, it doesn’t get any of the stains out, but at least I tried. OMG…I am sooooooo fricking tired. I find myself sitting in my hallway/porch…yes, my hallway is my porch, because ALL MY ROOMS GO TO THE OUTSIDE. So I’m sitting in the dirt of my hallway/porch, staring into the night. After I muster up energy, I finally set up my kettle. Best part of my day…my bucket bath. Haha, back to the god ole bucket baths. I honestly don’t even care at this point. I AM FINALLY CLEAN.

I can finally go to bed. NOPE. I AM SOOOOOOOOOO FRICKING ITCHY. Kafhtioa wq;reyutioawe urkjrehnfad ku;repowa. FML…I finally fall asleep at 2 AM. My first day in my house. SWEET.

August 31, 2011

I desperately needed to do my laundry, after being in Gabs for a month. Unfortunately, my hands are still too torn up for me to be doing any laundry by hand. LUCKILY, another volunteer in the area has a washing machine. HALLAJUAH! haha. Unfortunately, he is all the way across the village. So here I am, I shove all my dirty clothes in my gigantic red hiking backpack (which was completely full), and start trekking it through Bobonong. I know where he lives, but I don’t want to take the main roads. So I just head in the general direction, hoping I’ll find it eventually. I just end up getting lost. So here is this little Chinese girl, wandering around the back paths of Bobonong, with her gigantic red hiking backpack, lost. I don’t think I’ve ever looked more out of place. People would just stare. “wa o kae?!”, “where are you going?!”, “ke a tsamaya go ntlo tsala ya me!”, “ I’m going to my friend’s house!,” “KGKALA!!!”, “ FAR!!!”, “ee, le ga ke itse ya kae!”, “yes, and I don’t know where I am!”. This was basically how all my conversations went with people as I wandered around lost for an hour and half. They just laughed, and would point me in a general direction. People are very helpful and kind, so no one gave me problems (except for the few that kept hassling me for my number). EVENTUALLY, I made it! WEEE!!! and ALL to use a washing machine. Sigh. APPRECIATE YOUR WASHING MACHINES!!! And don’t complain to me about how you guys have to do laundry out there in the states, unless you are doing it by hand. Then you can complain to me about doing laundry.

September 1, 2011

Today I went into work to help them calculate and consolidate their month end child weighing report. My goal is to help my clinic output better data that they are gathering, and to teach people how to use the computer as well at the same time. MULTITASKING. Lol. Anyways, after that, I needed to go get the check from the RAC. Luckily, I was able to get a ride to the RAC (which is about 3 miles away from my house). I get the check, walk to the mall to cash it. Buy a small table for my kitchen. I LUG the table a whole 2 miles home in the midday heat. I think it took me an hour to get home with that table. I think people think I’m stupid or crazy, cuz I’m always carrying oversized items around and just wandering all over the village dragging these enormous objects. I gather a lot of perplexed stares as I walk around. People don’t even ask me for money anymore. Cuz CLEARLY I don’t have any, if I am dragging around objects that are just way too big for me to be lugging around, when I could just be getting a taxi. But, hey! At least people are gonna remember who I am! But finally I have something to put my food on, and a place to grate and cut things at a reasonable height. Then hike another 2 miles back to hitch a ride to Mahalaype to start the camping journey. In half a day, I was still able to walk 6 miles in the heat. WTF, man. Ugh…and I can’t believe I lugged a table almost the size of me, across Bobonong. And ugh…I REALLY wish I had a donkey cart.

September 4, 2011

So we spent our “Labor Day” weekend at the Sowa Salt Pans (we didn’t actually have labor day off, but we gave it to ourselves).  We left for Francistown on Friday, and wandered our way over (after some yummy Indian food) to the Sowa. There were 9 of us, so we hired our own combi to take us to Sowa. Best combi ride, EVER. haha, I can’t get into the details, but it was pretty awesome, and we had fun. And most importantly, we had control to ALL the windows. Lol. We make it to Sowa about an hour and half later and meet up the rest of the gang, totaling up to 14 of us. We pile into another combi, and head out to the pans. We get there at night, so we can’t see anything. But we set up camp, make a fire, and cook us some dinner (BRAII = BBQ...we braii up some sausages, corn, and potatoes…using BEER CANS, ya we’re in Peace Corps!). And once again, since we’re Peace Corps and not used to doing a whole lot of anything all day, we were all passed out by 11. Lol. yay, we can be pretty lame too. But hey…we were pretty tired.

Wake up…at the crack of dawn. Well, first, I couldn’t sleep. I kept thinking that scorpions were crawling under my tent and that they were trying to sting me through the tent. And NO, I was not on anything. I was just in the middle of the salt pans! Who knows what’s out there?! I finally go to sleep. Then at around 2 AM, Clayton freaks out with an “AH!” and wakes ALL of us up. I literally shot up…I had NO idea what was going on. Haha…apparently…he had sneezed (or so he says at that moment). Lol. It’s just funny, cuz he literally woke ALL of us up. Haha. Any ways…we wake up at the butt crack of dawn, cuz people are making noise. We make a fire, people want coffee. Someone told me they were disappointed in me, cuz I didn’t wake up and 15 minutes later have a beer in my hand…have I really be coined that much of an alcoholic?! (I actually only ended up having ONE beer the whole day…that’s another strange one too though…) Lol.

Since it was earlier and still kinda cool out, a few of us decided to explore the vast unknown of nothingness. Literally, they are salt pans. It is flat. It goes on forever. We don’t see the end. It is just a horizon of just WHITE. Not snow…but just salt. Flat emptiness. It is crazy beautiful. we walk into the salt pans, and you honestly feel like you are walking to nowhere. It reminded of the desert that Jack Sparrow was stuck in and the end of the world in the third movie. There was no one around, except us. We were completely isolated. You can see for miles, but there is nothing to see. It was amazing. As you walk, the ground crunches. There are no tracks anywhere. The only tracks we find are of a truck, which we follow so we don’t get lost going around in circles. The ground is cracked from the salt ground. It feels like we’re walking towards a beach…that is WAY WAY WAY out there in the distance...somewhere. Lol. Anyways…it was SUPER cool. It is the biggest salt pan in the world. Pretty awesome. Apparently, we had walked until we were itty bitty specks on the horizon, according to the rest of the group that we had left behind. It’s an awesome concept to be on the edge of a horizon to someone.

So after we got back, and cooked eggs, all we did for the rest of the day was hang out under a shelter that a mine nearby had built. It was dusty, but WAY cooler than out on the pan. It was probably in the upper 90s out there. We just hung out, talked, drank, played board games and card games. The wind was blowing dust everywhere. There were even sand tunnels blowing out on the pans that we could watch. Some were small, somewhere huge. We tried to find wildebeest. We saw two things approaching us…though had no idea what it was. We decided that they were aliens that were trying to abduct us (which I really don’t think is unlikely out there…we found some strange children footprints that appeared and ended out of nowhere). But turns out, we think they were just 2 4x4s. damn, wish we coulda been doing that. Oh well.

Eventually, the boys decide to start up the grill and create these little ovens/firepits by digging up the dirt and surrounding them with bricks. We watched the sunset on the pans…AMAZINGLY BEAUTIFUL. Then watched 2 volunteers cut a prickly tree branch with a leatherman knife. Needless to say, they did not come out unharmed. That tree is a feisty fucker. Unfortunately for them, it is never easy to burn a living tree, so their efforts were a bit unheeded. Felt bad for them, but eh, live and learn right? Apparently, we were all passed out by 11 (ya, we’re pathetic…we are just so used to going to bed early!).

We wake up early because the combi is supposed to come pick us up at 7 AM. We watched the sunrise on the pans…gorgeous. We pack up our things, clean up all of our trash. And the combi arrives at 730, not bad for Africa time. We head back to Francistown, have lunch (amazing iced coffee), then back off to Bobonong.

So I get home after 12 hours of traveling from Sowa and being stranded at Phikwe for 2 hours, and there is NO WATER. TIA. FML. The only thing I’ve been looking forward to was the bath that I was gonna take. And there is NO FUCKING WATER. UGH. Apparently all of Bobonong is out of water. Ukherf jkawd kjfhbaji ruoaiwgjkfba kjd.

The interesting thing that I’ve realized though, no matter what is happening or what has happened, or what situation I have been in (minus the staff not being supportive), there is no place else I’d rather be at the end of the day. If I’m stuck in a bus with the windows closed and sweating (yes, I’d rather be in an air conditioned car), I’d still rather be here in Botswana. Even when I have to shoo bugs away, and deal with having no water, this is part of the life here. And as frustrating as it may be, I would still rather be here. I know some of the other volunteers may wonder wtf is wrong with me. But I think when you are stripped of all luxuries that you have known, you begin to notice and enjoy the little things. And at the end of the day, my simple little life out here is exactly what I needed, and I can’t really think of anything that I would want to change (except maybe the layout of my house…lol).

September 6, 2011

Today I went to a mobile stop at Maiswe. It is a small little village on the outskirts of Bobonong. It takes about 30 minutes of driving into the bush to get to this little settlement. I found it incredibly interesting. Mobile stops are medical stops that our clinic takes to go to other villages on the outskirts of Bobonong, or as we like to call it…going into the bush. Many of these people are unable to make it into Bobonong to the clinic or the hospital, so we go to them to make sure they get their checkups and rations. We had been waiting for transport all morning to take us to the mobile stop. We finally reach there at around 1:30 PM and there are about 75 people perched under trees on their blankets just waiting for us. They had all brought their children to be weighed. So there were about 30 kids between the ages of 6 months and 5 years just running around, waiting for us. We get there, and the health educator gave a little speech/health talk in Setswana (unfortunately, I have no idea what she told them). I introduced myself (because clearly, they were curious as to why a little Chinese girl just came out of the back of the ambulance). And the nurse gave an introduction about why I was here and where I was from. They were all incredibly sweet, they thanked me for being there. That made me happy. J

Then we weighed the babies under the trees. Of course, they gave me the part of the job that did the most, so I got piled up with children’s health books, while trying to record all their information on our log book. I spent the next hour asking “ngwana, o kile alwala?” (child, has he/she been sick?) or “nana, o ja eng?” (baby, what does he/she eat?). As I went through each book, I would ask the mother these questions. They would wait in line, and watch as their book was getting pulled from the stack, and would answer my questions. It was pretty cool. We stayed out here for about 2 hours, as the nurse gave vaccines and gave out meds to the people of this little village. The other interesting thing about today was that I found a box of condoms, and realized they weren’t being distributed. So I took the box of condoms out, and in 30 seconds, all 100 condoms were GONE. People were grabbing them by the handful. A lady told me to give more to another lady because she had 5 boys and that she needed the condoms. I think that’s just how things roll out here. No condoms, more babies. Hopefully I helped save one of these women another unwanted pregnancy with these condoms. That would be pretty cool.

I did laundry today at 4:15 PM when I got home. And it is so hot, they were dry by 6 PM. I’m scared shitless for this summer and what the heat has to bring. I am going to cry. I guarantee it already.

I wanted to touch up on how things work in terms of patients records out here. You know how in the states, we don’t bring anything but our insurance cards when we see a doctor? And they have all the records and your history? Well, here everyone is in charge of their own records. They are basically called patient health cards. All the children and provided with a Child Health Book, where we record each month how much a child weighs, what their ailments are when they get sick, their HJV status (as well as the mother’s HIV status), and height. We measure the children’s height once every 6 months (February and August). We weigh the babies every month. But even if you’re an adult, you have your own records as well, that you bring in whenever you get a check up, get meds, or need to see a nurse for a problem. Everyone here is in charge of their own records. Which actually seems to be a decent system. I like it at least. I feel like in the states we waste too much paper and space with that. It also makes sure people here are more in charge of their own health needs and helps them understand more of what their ailments are.

Something I’ve noticed is that people are incredibly patient here. They can be left waiting, and not a peep or complaining. They will be asked to do things, because someone is clearly too lazy to move, and someone will go and do it if asked. I don’t know if it’s just that they don’t have anything better to do. Or if they are just used to be kept waiting. I guess the whole “Africa time” concept is incredibly ingrained into their culture. “Africa time” meaning that there is no real set time, and people can be as late as they want. Nothing really starts on time, and nothing really gets done so much on a schedule, they happen when they happen. Haha, for Americans, this can be incredibly frustrating since we value ours and others time so much. But here, this is just what they are used to. I guess…when in Rome, do as the Romans do. A thing that we Americans need to remember…is that we are NOT in America anymore, and we are not going to turn Botswana into America. So we just go with what we’re given and just roll with it. Otherwise, you will find yourself pulling your hair out, and that just won’t do for the next 2 years.

September 7, 2011

Today, I had to ask someone how to mop a floor. Well, more so along the lines of “am I supposed to squeeze the water out of the mop before I start mopping?” ya, ok…I grew up spoiled. I’m not going to deny it. But…HEY, give me credit! At least I’m trying and not complaining about doing it! Ya ya ya, pathetic, I know. I’m getting there. Lol. And my bedroom finally feels clean. J

September 8, 2011

Today I played with a baby. He was adorable. Then I went to a preschool in Molalatu, which is about 20 km away from Bobs. One of the ladies, or I would like to consider as one of my “moms” from the Home Based Care, has started a preschool out there. She wanted to show it to me, and of course, I love going to places like that. So I just watched kids play around for about an hour. We’re thinking about having me come out once a month and teach them English. Doesn’t sound too bad of a job.

Then I went and picked cabbage in a cabbage patch for an hour. Seriously. Haha, life is funny sometimes.

September 14, 2011

Today I did my first “capacity building.” We have been doing reports by hand, where we do all our calculations in a notebook and by cellphone. I got tired of writing that could simply be created on excel. So the past couple months, I have been working on creating an easy report on the computers. But, I was the only one that knew how to do it. So today…I taught one of the health educators how to use to computer…and input the data into the report!!! YAY!!! I will continue to monitor her inputs, but the basics were there. She was super happy to learn and was surprised how easy it was to do. Step one. Baby steps, Amanda, baby steps. J

time flies i guess...

July 24, 2011

Today I went to the agricultural fair for Bobonong. There were chickens, roosters, pigeons, geese, ducks, and rabbits! Haha. they were cute. I went with the Home Based Care group to help them set up and to see what the fair was about. They had prizes for beans, maize, cabbages, jams…all sorts of things. It was pretty cool. There were informational booths, like consumer affairs. I just wandered around and craved maguinya and soup. Finally, I caved in, and it was DELICIOUS. Lol. It was something I had been craving all week. And I had finally had my share. We watch Slizer, which I guess is a Botswana celebrity. She’s like the Botswana’s version of Shakira. The cool thing about her is that she is from Bobobong. So she came back to her home village. It was a fun performance. Then my friend Kers came by, so I hung out with her for a bit, and went to watch her soccer team. Oh did I forget to mention, my head outfit for the day consisted of pigtails, baseball cap, my green sunglasses, and…a band-aid on my face. I looked AMAZING and incredibly sexy. I had a mosquito bite on my face and it was starting to ooze out liquid. It was AWESOME. Haha, I had a few people tell me I looked ugly. Lol. honestly, fine by me, the uglier the better. Lol. To add to the deterrent of men besides my ugly face, I decided to carry around a box of condoms. I figured any guy that tried to approach me, I’d just give them a condom. It worked well, people were a bit taken aback, and left me alone. But the other good thing was that they actually took the condom. Yay! J haha, oh my volunteer with the gay and lesbian center did me well. I am not afraid of handing random people condoms. Others actually would yell at me and be like “do you know what you are holding?!” haha. I would say yes, then offer them condoms. That worked too. Cuz they would just laugh, and take the condoms. I just hope they use them properly!

So in the past week, Kers and I have noticed that there is a small group of children that have been running around, begging people for food, money, and clothes. This is actually incredibly odd to see. Kers calls them “street kids”. They refuse to go to school, and when they are forced to go, they just run away. Apparently, the situation is that their mother has died (most likely from AIDS), and they are being watched by their uncle…who I guess is a bit of a lush and doesn’t really watch the kids. There are about 7 kids, and the ages range from about 5 to 13. Anyways, these kids have been a bit of a worry to Kers and some of the members of the community.

Kers and I decide to pay a visit to where they are staying to check out exactly what the situation is. I want to go, because I want to see what is going on. She wants to go to talk to the people living with these kids…and of course I don’t understand a word, I’m just sitting there observing and really taking in the scenery, which honestly made me very sad and confused. There were about 8 women (if you can even call them that…I think some were as young as 15 years old) and about 25 children just running around. Some of these kids didn’t even have clothes. The women are sitting outside on blankets and cardboard, just breastfeeding babies. A puppy is chewing on a skinned rat. And the houses that they are staying in are basically mud shacks with holes in them. Some of them were even missing parts of their roofs. It was an abysmal sight to see. Their clothes were ragged and dirty. Some didn’t have shoes. Two of the older women had crutches. The government does help them out, being that the children are considered to be destitute, since they have a parent that has died from AIDS. They are rationed food, toiletries, soap, the basics. But clearly they aren’t getting enough, or they don’t know how to manage their rations. We talk to them for a bit and Kers thinks the best way to start with helping them is by helping them with a half built house. We’ll see when that can be done. A bit of a problem with these kids is that they’re not so much into the whole appreciation aspect, making it difficult for people to want to assist them. Which I can understand. But at the end of the day, if they need help, maybe in the long run, something good can come from it. As we were leaving, 2 of the kids run off at top speed, trying to make a run back into town. 2 of the girls or “women” (since they already have children…at the age of 15), chase after them to bring them back. It was baffling to see…children running away as fast as their little legs can take them to go begging. Running away from people that don’t necessary treat them badly, or yell at them…but running because they just want to beg. Sigh…I guess I should start at the social service office to see what can be done…but this was a new sight to me. And perhaps the reason why I wanted to come here to Botswana in the first place.

July 25, 2011

So you want to know what’s been happening in my life here in Botswana? o batla go itse ke dira eng mo Botswana? Not much really. Ke dira sepe. Lol. I go to work at the clinic in the mornings. Ke tsamaya go tiro phakela. Where most of the time I just spend weighing babies. I’ve been peed on about 3 times now. I’m a bit scared of holding babies without diapers now. lol. I just hang out with the people at the clinic. I just talk to people. Most people just talk to me in Setswana. And I normally respond with a confused look, until they repeat it over and over again and then give up. Or they just say it in English. I can actually pick up what people are asking me more times than not. Which is pretty cool. I don’t think I’ll come back fluent, but I’m not doing too bad with the Setswana. So ya, I weigh babies, and talk to people in Setswana, and learn Setswana. Then I normally head to town to hang out with Kers for a bit, and then go to Home Based Care to hang out with the lovely ladies that run the NGO. I watch them make beads. Or help them watch the desk. Help them cook. Whatever they need. Or we just talk. They also try to talk to me in Setswana a lot. So I’m picking up Setswana everywhere. Then I normally go home. Sit, watch a show, eat, read, just do whatever. Ke nna, leba TV, ja, bala, ke dira sepe. Then I hang out with my neighbor, Sego, we just chat or watch TV. Then I cook dinner. Watch another show or read. Take a bath. Tlapa. Then time for bed. Robala. That is my life here in Bobonong. I haven’t been writing much because not much has been happening, besides just what I described. Ga ke kwale ka go reng ga ke dire sepe le ga ke na le sepe go bua fa.

Sometimes I have to keep reminding myself that I am in Botswana. It’s still strange to me. Whenever I say, it still feels incredibly odd. But at the same time, this place has become home. Botswana has become home. I’ve very much fallen into pace with life here. And for the first time in a really long time, I can honestly say that I am happy. I am saying it, and for once I am not trying to convince myself that I am happy. Not to say that I don’t miss home and my friends. But I have really come to embrace life here. Today I walked to the tuck shop to go get airtime. Walking on a dirt road…and I am getting airtime at a tuck shop. Simple. And it made me smile. This is my life in Botswana. This is what we do here in Botswana. It makes me happy to know that something so simple can make me happy. It’s funny because it’s such a simple task here. But in America, 3 of those things aren’t even in our vocabulary or found in everyday life. When was the last time you walked on a dirt road that didn’t involve hiking? In America, most people don’t buy “airtime” which is the equivalent of buying minutes in a way, we buy by a package. When we buy aritime, it’s by pula, and not by minutes. So each text or SMS within Botswana costs 25 thebe (which is equivalent to cents). Each SMS to the states is 1 pula (which is equivalent to dollars). I don’t know how much it costs to make a phone call within Botswana, but I wanna say somewhere around 50 to 75 thebe. And each phone call to the states is 6 pula per minute. So I went to go by 20 pula of airtime for me to use however I like. Now as for tuck shops, well, I already explained that before. I guess I’m just saying that I’m totally enthralled by my simple life out here.

For those of you who know me, when I was at home, I was constantly going out. I had schedules packed for 2 weeks straight. I always had to do be doing something. And it always had to be sometime engaging. Clubs. Bars. Shooting ranges. Beaches. Dinners. And here? What do I do? I sit on my doorstep and stare at the tree. Or stare at the stars. Or stare at the clouds. Watch ants.  It’s funny because, Botswana has given me lots of time to just…think. I find myself often staring off into space for long spans of time just thinking. Before, in the states, it was never a good thing when I started to think. It would lead me to dark places or make me over analyze everything. I would just stress the more I thought about things that were going on or things that were happening. But here, when I think about these things, I’m no longer stressed or upset about thinking. I just think. it has really given me the time to sort things out in my head. Not quite sure what I’m sorting out, but I know I’m finally feeling more at peace with myself. At home, I felt like I was always fighting against something, may it be expectations, society, or people. But here, I’m finally away from all that. And now is the time that I can really concentrate on myself. I have a lot of alone time here. Before that was bad thing. Now, it’s something I look forward to. I like doing nothing, I’ve decided. Which is completely contradictory of who I tried to make myself believe that I was in the states. I hated doing nothing. I think in the states, I was just running myself ragged and didn’t know how to stop and take a break. There was just always too much going on, that I never took the time to sort things out for me. Too many distractions. I just never took the time for myself, because I always felt like I had to be doing something because everyone else was always doing something. But here, I have nothing better or else to do, so I am finally forcing myself to take the break that I need. And at the end of the day, it’s making me more comfortable with who I am and who I want to be. And I love how here, I don’t have to be doing anything, because the way of life is to not really do very much here. It’s so laid back, and people actually just enjoy their time sitting. And it has really calmed my nerves down. I’ve even cut down a shit ton on my drinking. So I thank you, Botswana, for making me a happier/healthier person. And this time, it has nothing to do with a person making me happier, this is just ME making myself happier.

Today I got a package from my parents and Joanne. I was surprised as to how happy I was to get them. I knew it was coming, but I was still super excited to get them. I got an overwhelming feeling of love and appreciation. And I’m not saying this to be corny or anything. It made me really appreciate them for taking the effort to put the package together and send it to me. They sent me everything that I had asked for, and it made me really happy that they would do that for me. I was especially happy to find the picture of my teddy bear from my parents. They took the time to take the picture then go to the store to print out. I love them. I wish I could give them a hug. I can’t though, so I send viral hugs. *hug hug hug* J THANKS PARENTS AND JOANNE. I <3 u!!! J

July 27, 2011

Today I was walking to work, and 4 donkeys were blocking my path. When I walk to work, I normally take short cuts, which involves little pathways in between houses. So, there were 4 donkeys in my path. I literally stood there for 5 minutes…staring at them. and of course, they stared back. I would slowly approach them, and they would shift uneasily. The whole time I am thinking…please don’t kick me…please don’t kick me…please don’t kick me. I had heard of those donkey kicks, and I had no intention of experiencing them first hand. Finally these 2 ladies walked by, laughed, and asked me if I was scared of donkeys. I just told them I didn’t want to get kicked by them. They just laughed and said that they wouldn’t kick me. And just passed right through them. I did the same. Silly me. Haha. anyways, this is what happens in Botswana. At least now I know I can pass donkeys without the fear of being kicked by one.

August 1, 2011

WOW….it’s been 4 months since I left the states. That’s crazy. It has felt ridiculously slow…but when looking back…it seems like it’s gone by fast. I’ve been gone for 4 months. Has the past 4 months felt like a long time to you too? Or did it go by super fast? 22 more months to go!

Thank you to all my friends and family that have taken the time and effort to call and send packages. I know I’m not easy to get in touch with, but it’s ALWAYS nice to hear from you and a good reminder of what I have at home. I love you guys and miss you! J *HUGS*

August 19, 2011

Not much has happened. Went to training for IST. It was nice to see everyone, though the training aspect bored us all to tears. I’m heading back to Bobonong on Sunday, where I will officially be in my house. Which is going to be different…and interesting. I apparently have managed to get rosea, which is a weird skin thing that is going to leave me itchy for the next 2 months. In other words, I feel like crap, and can’t stop scratching, so I look like a crackhead. It’s a good thing we don’t have crackheads here, otherwise, people would think I am a crackhead. Do you think it’s possible for me to get new skin? Cuz that would be awesome. 

Bobs World..and no internet...sorry i'm kind of loving it :)

June 8, 2011

So I guess let me just relay what has been going on mentally for the past few weeks. It will help explain a bit of the disappearing act. 

It’s been a rough few weeks. We had heard that training is the worst part of service. And so far, it has lived up to that reputation.  Though, unfortunately, I had to endure a bit more bullshit than others. I cannot write about it, because it is still under investigation, but let’s just say that I endured hardships that I should not have been expected to endure. PST is hard enough, and I definitely went through even more unnecessary emotional/mental agony than was needed (did I emphasize the unnecessariness of it enough?). I’ll just say that, I am glad I have my group of trainees/volunteers with me. They have my back, unlike some. They are the ones I will depend on to help me through things, unlike some. They are the ones that are going to listen and talk to me, unlike some. So thank you to them, because of them, I am still here. Some people, I wouldn’t trust them to help me any further than my pinky can push them. I would like to have as little contact with some as possible. It had gotten so bad that I wanted to go home.  And it never should have reached that point. And it wasn’t that I wanted to go home because I don’t like it here in Botswana. And it wasn’t that I wanted to go home because I didn’t want to do the job that I came here to do.  And it wasn’t because my resolve to try to do something is world has disappeared. And it wasn’t because I didn’t want to help anymore. It was honestly because of all the unnecessary behaviors I had to endure put onto me by others and their lack of support when it was clearly needed. I’ll let all of you try to guess who I am talking about. Since I am not directly stating it, let’s see if I’m going to get called out and sent home for this. 

Anyways, I am finally sworn in. I AM DONE WITH PST. And I am officially a VOLUNTEER. THANK FUCKING GOD. If I were to get removed from this country (god forbid), and asked to do another PST in another country, I wouldn’t do. I would quit Peace Corps without any regret. I would immediately go home. You could never get me to go through another PST again. It is not worth the hell that it felt like I went through. Though at the same time, I know that it sparked something in me that I haven’t felt or had in a long time. It in a way it gave me clarity, may it be to help me realize that I am here for a reason, and it has nothing to do with Peace Corps or its staff, and nothing to do with PST, but that I came here for the reason to help people. So all in all, with or without Peace Corps Botswana organization’s help, I plan on doing the job I came here to do, and nothing but my own resolve is going to be a deciding factor. Though the minute I feel like this is not what I want to be doing anymore or that I am wasting my time, I will not hesitate to come home. Because now, at the end of the day, I don’t feel like I owe Peace Corps Botswana anything and everything I do here will be based on what I think of the situation and not what Peace Corps Botswana expects of me. I think before I started PST I had an idea of “oh wow, ya…I’m doing Peace Corps…I’m going to be a part of Peace Corps, while helping people,” and now it’s “I’m here to help people, and could really care less that I am a part of Peace 

Corps.” (haha, watch me get admin separated…or basically fired for sullying their grandeous name that they have built for themselves)

So as you can see, I haven’t been writing because I haven’t exactly been the happiest person. I haven’t had very many good things to say. And I really hadn’t encountered anything new or interesting to talk about. The processing of the whole situation has been exhausting, and I just had no more energy to even write about it. So, I will remain vague to mitigate the amount of trouble that I am already in, but try to remain fair to everyone who wants to know what is going on in my life. Because at the end of the day, this is a blog about my life, and this has been my life and my thoughts, so I shouldn’t have to feel censored about describing what is going on in my life or being censored about my thoughts…cuz after all, we are Americans, right? I may LOOK Chinese, but I am NOT Chinese, so I would like to be treated like a citizen of the USA and have my freedom of speech without fear of being censored. Because the world isn’t always rainbows and bunnies…sometimes this world is going to be shitty. And I don’t paint a one sided picture…because that is unfair to everyone. 

June 9, 2011

First full day in Bobonong, and I made a new friend in Bobonong, his name is Zhu. I apparently needed to come to Botswana to get in touch with my Chinese side. Lol. He invited us (me and the other volunteers) to come over with his family to make…DUMPLINGS!!!  BEST DUMPLINGS EVER. FRESH DUMPLINGS. Well, ok, besides Shanghai, but they are from outside Shanghai, so close enough! It was a lot of fun. He owns a China shop in town, he’s 22 years old. It was a fun, relaxing, delicious night. We made pork and vegetable dumplings. It was funny, because the two other volunteers had the best Chinese food they’ve had…in Botswana.  Zhu’s family (sister and friends) were super nice and welcoming. 

June 10, 2011

Tonight, I stepped outside. It is so quiet here in Botswana, you can hear the planes fly over. As they fly across the sky, you can hear them go. Mixed in with the stars. I never knew the world could be so quiet and seem so still. 

June 16, 2011

The week is going. Which is more than I can say about any other week that I’ve been here in Botswana. It’s a GOOD thing. My house is finally coming along (though I am still at another volunteer’s house). They finally put the bath tub and the toilet in. The burglar bars are up. I had to take Zhu with me to explain everything that I needed…uh…ya, cuz he’s a Chinese kid that speaks fluent Setswana. Wtf, right? So I now also have a bed, a dresser, a stove, and a fridge, but no gas or water. So I still can’t REALLY live there. Well, ok, fine I can…but that would mean I would be cooking over a fire, and I have NO idea how to cook over a fire…cook over a fire to make…grilled cheeses?! Ya…right. Anyways, I’ve been going over there every day this week to check on the progress. So I’ve been pretty happy with what I see. Things are moving at least. 

Speaking of moving, I am constantly moving. I think I’ve walked about 25 miles this week…or that’s what it feels like. So basically where I am staying now is about 2 miles away from the clinic that I work at. But on Monday, I walked to the DHT with the volunteer I am staying with, which is about 2 miles away from her house too. I waited for her counterpart to get there, but she never showed, so I decided to make a stride to my clinic. From DHT to my clinic that is another 2 miles. I counted pills that day and just watched people do their jobs. It was my first real day there, so it was interesting to see how the place ran. Oh, and there really is no patient confidentiality really, cuz almost anyone can come in at a time when the nurse is there. And that includes me in the corner counting pills. Good thing I don’t understand a word they are saying. Haha. anyways, so just observed for my first day. Headed back into town…that’s another mile. Shit that’s 5 miles already, and it’s only half way through the day. My counterpart calls me to tell me my furniture has arrived and I need to tell the men where to put it. So I catch a ride back to my house with them. i get my stove, fridge, dresser, and bed. Half the burglar bars are up. That’s a surprise. Cool. But I can’t find the keys to my house. Shit, my new stuff is gonna get stolen. Get driven back into town. I’m freaking out, cuz I’m not really sure what to do about the fact htat I can’t lock my house. And I have no idea where the keys are. Then Zhu wants to see how my house is coming along, so he drives me BACK to my house. Checks it out. Approves. So grateful he was there, he found my landlord and asks for my keys. YAY! Panic avoided. I lock my stuff up and have him drop me back off at my clinic. I am there for about 5 minutes, and I check out. I walk a mile back into town again. That’s 6 miles. Hang out with Kers, the person who took us on the game drive a couple weeks back. Then to the Home Based Care to say hello and check in on the volunteer I am staying with. Back to Kers. I ask her to help me find curtains for my house. She takes me to every China shop there is in Bobs, where eventually I just end up buying them at Zhu’s shop. Lol. but she’s awesome, we have a ton of fun just wandering around. Then I walk another 2 miles back to the place I am staying. 8 miles total. JUST BECAUSE I have to. Wth, man!

Tuesday, I wake up. Walk 2 miles to my clinic. Then we walk another 2 miles to the Mabumahibidu Primary School (I am STILL saying that syllable by syllable). We are there to register Standard 1 and Standard 7 for vaccines they will be getting this week. I think it was polio, DT, and TT. Kids seem to be scared of me. They aren’t quite sure what to make of me, or how to respond to me. Haha. it’s ok. Either they’ll get used to me, or I’ll just get used to the response. Anyways, we get all the names and birthdates filled in a notebook, and create school health cards for each student so when we give the vaccines later in the week, it is an easier process. And now, I walk another 2 miles back to the clinic. Dude, that’s 6 miles before noon. I get back, and a guy that works at my clinic that has been helping me with my house wants to go look at my house. 1 mile. Yay! They are putting in the bathtub and toilet and the plumbing! Also the curtain rods are going up. More progress! 1 mile back to the clinic…or his house.  We stopped to pick…ya, papaya. Pretty cool stuff. Then walk another mile into town for lunch. WTF…9 miles today. That’s 17 miles in 2 days. UGH. Luckily, Zhu can tell I’m exhausted, so he drives me back to the place I am staying (he’s becoming a bit of a life saver…if you couldn’t tell). 

Wednesday. I wake up. Walk 2 miles to my clinic. Today, I weighed 24 babies. Some cried. Some just stared. Some were pleasant and I didn’t have to tell them to do anything. So I observed the morning child section procedures. Which just weighs babies and marks their progress. Pretty interesting. In the books, you can also see whether a child and mother is HIV positive. Surprisingly, (though it really shouldn’t be) there are a lot of people that are HIV positive. I think I just need to get used to that idea here. After all the babies were done, I walked to my house from the clinic (1 mile). I get to my house, and the curtain rods are all up. The burglar bars are done. The toilet is done. The bathtub is half done. And the pipes for the plumbing are being dug. Hopeful thinking, maybe I can get in by this weekend? Sigh…one can only dream. Lol. I walk into the mall, cuz I’m starving and grab myself a cheese puff…which is just bread with cheese in it (2 miles). After lunch, I hang out at the clinic again to see what happens in the afternoon. Not much. I am seriously…just sitting there staring at people. Haha. oh well, it’s called observing, I guess. So, that is 6 miles today…wow I’m slacking. Total in 3 days: 23 miles.

Thursday. I wake up. Walk 2 miles to my clinic. Today…I get to go back to Mabumahibidu Primary School to actually give the vaccines. Ok, I didn’t actually give them. But I assembled them…meaning I put the needle on the syringe. Scary stuff, huh? Funny, we gave them to the first graders…and we only had 2 criers. 1 refused to take it off her sleeve and screamed when we gave her the shot…but that was like 2 kids of out over 50. THEN, we gave them to the seventh graders…and they were FREAKING out. They all started getting twitchy and scared. I guess, the difference may have been that the seventh graders knew what was going on and the first graders…well, I guess are just doing what they are told. I think about half of the seventh graders cried…and one even ran away. We had to track him down to give him his shot. I would have thought it was the other way around. Interesting….lol. They just give the kids the shots in the front of the classroom. We didn’t get a room. There is no nurse station. We get a chair, and a desk (if we’re lucky) and we just swab and stick em. The nurses don’t use gloves…they just stick em straight up. Crazy….at least it’s effiecient. Afterwards, I walk back to the mall…I’m over checking on my house. I knew nothing was going to be done by today, so I didn’t even bother. Anyways…I had promised Home Based Care today that I would try to help them with their paper jewelry…which is super pretty btw. I am apparently retarded when it comes to any crafts or being artistic. I can’t draw with a ruler, and I can BARELY cut. Lol. not much use to them, I guess, but I think they found it amusing how dysfunctional I am when it comes to dainty things. Lol. After about an hour, my thumb had gone numb, and (maybe it was cuz I had something in left eye all morning), but I had started to grow a bit lightheaded and nauseous, or maybe a lack of sleep…but I was NOT feeling well.  So, my bff Zhu of course, drives me home. SLACKER…3 miles only today! Total in 4 days: 26 miles.

Friday. I wake up. Walk 2 miles to my clinic. I weigh more babies today. I don’t know how many. I’m getting a hang of it. Though one baby almost peed on me, luckily…he just hit the scale. Wetness averted! We were done by 10 AM, and we had gone through way more babies than Wednesday. Felt productive. I went off with the TB counselor to visit some patients that he sees at their homes because they are too sick to make it to clinic. A lot of the TB patients here are also HIV positive, so many are also on ARVs. The reason why there is so much TB going around in Botswana is because of HIV. So they kind of go hand in hand. I will try to get more information, but it has to do with the lowered immune system. The reason the TB counselor needs to do home visits is because TB patients need to be directly observed to make sure they are taking their meds daily. It is a very monitored disease, so meds cannot be skipped. Like ARVs, they need to be taken diligently and strictly. So some people are too sick to make it to the clinic, so in order to make sure they are directly observed taking their meds, they need to go to the patients’ houses. So that is why there are home visits for TB patients here in Botswana. We went to go visit a patient that is 3 months into her treatment (it lasts 6 months, but they may not be completely cured by the end, people can end treatments, but not be cured). The TB counselor introduced me to her, and told me that she was doing a lot better than when he first started visiting her. She was very polite and welcoming and she seemed to be much stronger than he had described her, so that was encouraging. It was a quite check up…I guess he said that he had visited her earlier in the day, so she had already taken her meds, and that he just wanted me to meet him. So, ke itumelele go go itse. It was nice to meet you. 

And we were on our merry way, he wanted to show me a short cut back to the hospital. Along the way, I enjoyed the numerous comments about him being my husband…apparently, you can’t really walk around Botswana with another guy without people automatically assuming that you are with them in any way shape or form. Sigh. Oh well. It’s how life works out here. Get over it. Lol. 

Then I just did laundry. So, 2 miles to work. 1 mile to TB patient. 2 miles back home. So…5 miles.

TOTAL MILES FOR THE WEEK: 31 MILES. Lol. ya, that was a walking week!

June 26, 2011

I weighed babies this week. I am still at the other volunteer’s place. I shoveled dirt and dry grass into trash pit for an afternoon. And I got peed on all down my leg by a baby. SWEET. The best part about the peeing incident was the whole time I was trying to put a sweater back on this kid (as he is WAILING), I was thinking to myself, please don’t pee on me, please don’t pee on me, please don’t pee on me. And LOW AND BEHOLD…the baby does exactly that…pees all over me. The nurses laugh and tell me this is how I am going to bound with the community. So I guess the way to the community’s heart is to let their kids pee on me? Lol. I think I’m good. Then they told me to stand in the sun…the pee will dry. By lunch…I am back at home bathing my legs and washing my pants. Oh the experiences you’ll have. He was lucky he was an adorable baby. Even if he wasn’t…well, haha, it’s ok. Kids pee, right? 

Anyways, to the interesting part of my week. I went on home visits with a health educating nurse. She goes to visit patients to check up on them to see how they are doing. Doesn’t really perform any of the nurse/doctors duties, but more of just talking to people and educating them about certain health topics. Though, on that particular day, there wasn’t so many topics to cover. We visited a patient who had had a stroke. Talked to his mother about his status. Then we visited a 1 week old baby. CUTEST THING EVER. I love babies (as long as they are not mine)! The nurse told the mother that she needed to come in for her post natal appt at the end of July. Then we checked up on another lady and her baby to make sure she did go for her post natal appt. One of her kids was just running around the yard naked. It’s always so baffling to me to see kids running around naked. How free is it? Do they feel dirty? Or is it cleaner? Do they feel like they need to be more careful about what they are doing when naked? I honestly don’t remember the last time I was out standing outside naked and frolicking around. So it’s a completely foreign concept to me as to how that would feel. And not gonna lie, I was kinda jealous of the kid that he was able to get away with it. Then we checked up on a 90 year old man (who I’m pretty sure doesn’t actually remember the day he was born) who had broken a leg and a hip. I was kind of scared of this situation, because he was just curled up in bed under the covers. He was a bit emaciated, when we got in there I was kinda afraid that he might be dead. They have an appointment set up for him at the end of August to see an orthopedic surgeon. This man has some will to live, that’s all I can say. Next stop was a mentally disturbed older woman. Apparently, sometimes she doesn’t talk, or she’ll just laugh, or she’s just talk about nothing in relation to anything. Today, she talked about wanting to drink tea. So at least she was talking. The last stop was an old lady that was almost blind. She is living in a little one room hut, with one window and no electricity. Her floor was covered in dust, in fact everything was basically covered in dust. She had no one living with her or really assisting her. It made me really sad, but there’s not much you can do when people are set in their ways. She’s still surviving, though not as comfortably as I would like to be surviving, but who’s to say that my way is better? So the home visits were an eye opener, just encountering the different situations that are out there in Bobonong. It’s a different experience actually going into someone’s house and seeing how they live, than just walking on the paths and keeping your distance. I got to see how some people really live here in Botswana. I will request to do more home visits. It also helps me to get out into the community more, so it’s a win win situation. 

Lastly, apparently, we are down 3 more volunteers in the span of a week. We are now at 33 volunteers. We have lost 7 volunteers/trainees in 3 months. The Bots 9 group has been here for a little over year and they have lost 8 volunteers, and we are at 7 in 3 months. Crazy. I hope we don’t keep that trend, otherwise there will be no more Bots 10ers in 15 months.  But cheers to the ones who have left, may their life path take them somewhere that makes them happy! 

June 27, 2011

Today was a day that the closet thing of what I had imagined my volunteering experience is in Africa to be. In other words, prior to Peace Corps. Lol. Before I had made the decision to join Peace Corps, I searched long and wide that would allow me to volunteer in Africa just building houses for a year. And don’t say Habitat for Humanity, because they only have week long programs and it would cost me both my arms and legs. So, I searched the web long and hard to find a program…and unfortunately, I could not find one that wouldn’t cost me $10,000 for a year. As much as I love the idea of helping and building houses, I don’t really have that kind of money to just toss around, and *cheers to the American way* it’s just not a smart move to make financially. Yes, I am selfish and care about money. I am not going to deny it, nor am I going to be ashamed about caring about money. Because without money, there is only so much you can go and do. And NO, love cannot conquer all. Fuck love. I can’t help others until I help myself, which I did diligently prior to getting here. 

Anyways, today I helped shovel sand from the river bed…all day. We shoveled three truck beds full of sand from the river bed. This sand is going to help us create the concrete mix we’re going to need to make when we starting putting together the blocks for the house. We shoveled a truck bed, then shoveled it out at the person’s plot of land, then shoveled another truck bed, then shoveled it back out again, then shoveled another truck bed, and guess what? Then shoveled It back out again. Basically, we shoveled 6 truck beds full of sand. But I’m happy…cuz it’s all a part of the process of building a house! And for those of you who know me, know that I love building houses.  it’s going to a take way longer of process than what I’m used to (which is a week), but I’m super excited about it. I am sore all over and exhausted, but I’m happy.  So maybe there is hope in this world after all? I may actually be able to do what I dreamed to do? Please universe, give me this one wish? Make me believe that good things can still happen. Please make me believe that I don’t always have to settle. 

WOW, sudden realization…all this brings me back to my freshman year of college. My friend Jordan told me that I should go into architecture, that he thought that I would be good at it. I, of course, didn’t believe him, because I have absolutely no artist ability. But I do love looking at buildings. But…I think what it comes down to…which is close enough…is that I just love BUILDING buildings. Maybe not so much designing buildings, but just the whole building process, but close enough. Building houses for people who need them is my passion. So cheers to you Jordan, once again, you have got me pegged. And I guess you always have. 

Oh and sorry for being so antisocial. It is difficult to get to internet here, so it’s going to take me a while to post, but I will try to be a bit more diligent about it. I apologize. Hope all is well with you! Miss you guys, love you! 

Cattle Post and Site Visit

May 22, 2011

So…this week as sucked like never before. It has basically been a hell that none of us had ever imagined. It just felt like more shit piled on top of more shit with an extra topping of bullshit. I finally cracked yesterday and had no idea where to turn to make it better. But…I guess that’s life, right? To suck myself out of reality, I watched a Jet Li movie…it was all in Cantonese…and no subtitles. It made me feel a bit better to detach myself from Botswana and kind of transport myself to Hong Kong. Then I watched Slumdog Millionare. Love stories are cute. Too bad they aren’t so much in real life. If they even exist at all in real life. Anyways, got a call from my BFF. And for some reason, that was what did it. I actually went to bed somewhat smiling in a good way. So thank you, BFF. You may not always know what to say, but at least you are always there to listen to it, regardless of the time difference and distance. My one and only steady rock. I have no idea where I’d be without you. <3 you.  And for the first time in a week…I finally slept well. Didn’t wake up in the middle of the night. Didn’t have any nightmares. Didn’t wake up feeling shittier than I had the night before.

And today, I woke nice and late at the hour of 9 AM. Didn’t feel so bad, since my sisters were not awake either. Sweet. Hand washed my clothes. I am no longer tearing up my hands…yay! Then we decide to go to the cattle post.

Batswana are allocated plots of land by the government for farming. This is called the cattle post. Some people’s cattle posts are far from where they live, and others may be nearby. Some people may really do some farming on it, but a majority of people have animals that they tend to. Luckily, my family’s cattle post is nearby so I got to experience it.

First, we go and check out a beautiful lake that is near the lands. It is surrounded by hills, then you come over the hill, and there is a lake. It is still. Beautiful and peaceful, with but just a few ducks waddling around. We threw stones in the lake to try to get them to skip.

Then we head off to the cattle post, my host dad, my two host sisters, and a friend of the family (don’t really actually know how she fits in with the whole family dynamic, but hey…no one really seems to care…I’ll let you mull that one over a bit). We take the rooster that has been tied up and rolling around in the trunk out. It is cawing like a rooster…because it is…and it’s pissed that it’s been rolling around in the back of a trunk for the past hour. We let it run free. I am hypnotized by the baby goats and chicks. I creep up to them…(animal senses are so much keener than humans) and they immediately scamper off. I just wanted to pet them! Lol. We feed the chickens. We chase down the baby goats to give them medicine (they had diarrhea). Basically, we chase them down, and corner them. Then as they try to get away, you grab them by the hind legs and they just BAAAAAAAA and twitch as they try to get away. We give them the shots and watch them limp off….crying. poor baby goats…we were just trying to make them better!

Anyways, I wanted to go see the herd of sheep they had. The way we find them is by following the sound of a bell. We find them…they have a good number of them. They are just baaing…and eating grass, cuz that is what sheep do. Then we are off to try to find the goats. My sisters are talking about how they want nama (which is meat). Meaning, they are looking for the goats so they can bring one back to kill it so they can have meat. Wow. I am in a different world. We can’t find them, the second bell we followed lead us to a cow. Not that kind of meat. We are tired and give up and head back to the post. The father is harvesting maize from the field in buckets. I am stuck shucking maize for the next hour. But you know what, it was nice. With all the constant talking and straining to understand for the past 2 weeks, it was a nice break. The family were having a conversation amongst themselves and it didn’t involve me. I got to sit quietly, listening to house music blasting from the car, zoning out, and shucking maize. It was exactly what I needed, just a mental break.

THEN, the goats are found. They grab a brown and white goat. Lay him on the ground, hold his legs down, hold his head straight, then (please stop reading if you are animal killing sensitive…cuz I’m going to go into detail with this)…

…STAB it in the throat. The goat is twitching/choking on it’s own blood. Blood is squirting out of the neck, as it continues twitching/struggling. The two men (they tend to the farm when the family is not around) are holding the goat down. They put a bowl in front of the hole in it’s neck to catch the squirting blood. After about 5 minutes…it is finally still. 3 minutes later, I turn around, and there is a dead goat hanging from a tree by one of it’s hind legs. The two men begin to skin it. They are finally able to get all the skin off about 30 minutes later. There is a goat skin hide just lying on the ground, with blood dripping from it’s head. Now out comes the organs. They are enveloped in a way by a pouch which is bulbous and looks about ready to burst. They cut around the organs by cutting out this “pouch”. And there are the intestines, stomach, liver, spleen…all but the heart and lungs. Shit, bloods, guts are just oozing everywhere, all over the hide. Awesome sight. My family immediately grabs the liver and the spleen…OH A SNACK…this is the freshest fucking liver/spleen I’ll ever eat (not that I really had ANY desire to eat it)…FRESH OFF A GOAT, never even been refrigerated and still warm…because it was JUST killed 1 HOUR AGO.  By the way, throughout this whole process, I am still just shucking maize. Lol. And I guess what really surprised me, was how LITTLE I was disturbed by this whole ordeal. Not quite sure what that means, I think I just figure this is a part of life here in Botswana.

We make a fire and cook up the liver and spleen, with some paleche (basically it is boiled stiff maize meal, that looks like mashed potatoes but tastes like white rice, just uber stiff…you eat it with your hands). You know how in America, we have a ton of different settings for the fire on the stove? Ya…well in Botswana, when you are cooking over a fire…it’s only one setting…FIRE. Lol. We are cooking in black kettles that are placed on stands that are on top of a fire. It’s just crazy to see and understand the evolution of cooking equipment. I am amazed by this whole process. Some people go through life cooking this way and ONLY this way…not just when CAMPING…but every day. And I applaud them, because it really comes down to the basics and proves that at the end of the day, that is really all you need to survive. It was a good reminder to me how lucky I am or how spoiled I am, growing up with what I had. (YAY! One of my self-made goals of appreciating what I have and what I have been given throughout my life has been realized).

We shove the skinned, organless, goat carcass on a plastic tarping in the trunk. Then we go home. I am supposed to meet 2 other volunteers at my house to cook QUICHE…YUM. They come into my kitchen with a nasty surprise on the counter…ad skinned, organless, bloody goat carcass. They were not expecting this (my bad…I should have warned them). We attempt to ignore it, and cook our delicious broccoli, mushroom, cheddar quiche. We are happy. They go home. I watch Boys Over Flowers (the Korean soap opera), then go to bed. That was one African day and exactly what I needed.

SITE VISIT (May 24 – 29, 2011)

Our site visit was postponed. We had had a rough week of anticipation and lack of enthusiasm with training. We were all on our last mental thread. I get picked up on Tuesday morning at 4 AM. I had had a rough night previously, and my morning had just pushed me over the edge. I couldn’t wait to get to site. I catch the 6 AM bus from Gaborone to go to Selibe Phikewe. Get there at 1030 AM. Then catch the 11 AM bus to Bobonong. I am met by another volunteer from Bots 9 at the bus stop. She takes me to where a few other volunteers are helping to construct a concrete slab for a dining room for a preschool (pretty awesome). I say hi, I’ve met a couple of them before and one I was meeting for the first time. They look tired. It’s ok. I go back to the volunteer’s place that I was staying at to drop my stuff off. She takes me around the village, shows me where the grocery store is, where the “mall” or the center of the village shopping is, where the bank is, where the library is, where the police station is, and where the post office is. This is all in the same area. Cool. People just seem to hang out there. There are some china shops there. This is the place to mingle and meet people in my community. I will definitely be going there to sit in the square to talk to new people. We go back to the other volunteers house and hang out with the other 2 who are visitng/helping the other volunteer with the school and make mac n cheese and have a few brews. Watch the stars come out. Have an argument whether something in the sky is a satellite or a plane. And just chill. Just what the doctor ordered. A refresher and a chill night in what will soon be my new home. Head back to the other volunteer’s house and off to bed.

Wake up, head to the DHT, because that is where the volunteer that I am staying with is stationed. I meet her counterpart. I meet the staff, introduce myself as the new volunteer that will be working at the Borotsi Clinic. We head out to the clinic, meet the nurses that I will be working with. But first, I check out the house I will be living in. It is on a family compound. It has 4 rooms. A bed room. A sitting room. A kitchen. A bathroom. Simple. All the doors are outside. To get to the kitchen from my bed room, I need to go outside. Fucking awesome. That was sarcastic. Oh well. Not much of a choice here. There are kids on this compound. I love kids. But not when I want to get some peace and quiet. oh well again. This is life, right? Don’t always get what you want. Clearly, story of my life. I don’t even know why I bother hoping for anything anymore.

Anyways, back to the clinic. It’s small. It has four very small buildings. 1 is for the delivery and distrubting of child health care (weighing, disturbing meds). 1 is for consultation for adults. 1 is the IDCC (Infection Disease Control Center) where people with infectious diseases go to get counseling (this is normally a nicer term for HIV and TB clinic). 1 is for HIV testing/ARV distribution. There are about 5 to 6 nurses working there. 3 are helping with children. 2 are with the adult patients. 2 are in the IDCC. And 1 is in the HIV/ARV distribution center. I think they all move around, but I’m not sure yet. I guess I will have 2 months to figure out their whole system out. They are receptive to me, and I greet them all and tell them I will be working with them. Cool. I’m not too sure if they know why I’m there or what I’m supposed to do, but at least they smile and are nice. As I said…I have 2 months to really figure what is going on and them to figure out what I am all about and why I was sent there (though, I honestly have no Idea why I am being sent there…but…I guess I have 2 months to figure that out too). I eat cheeseburgers with fries for dinner and watch Knocked Up. Go to bed.

Thursday, I am with the other volunteer. He takes me to the DAC to meet everyone that he works with there. I’m introduced as the new volunteer coming in to work at the Borotsi Clinic. They are all very receptive, but many people are missing because of the strike. We attempt to go meet the kgosi, but he;s not around until Monday. Looks like I’m shit out of luck with that. Then we head to the police station to meet the Head of Police, but of course because of the strike he is out and about. Once again, I’m shit out of luck. Oh well, we head to the China shops…I want to meet some Chinese people! I met a kid that runs one of the shops. He is from some place near Hang Zhou. Cool! I’ve been there. We talk. I ask him what he eats. We talk about dumplings. He says his sister makes them. OMFG. YES. He says he will have his sister teach me. YAY! I ask if they make noodles. He hands us 2 things of ramen. So excited. Then I ask if he has chop sticks. And if he did…how much? He says “you are my friends, you no buy, you buy, you no longer friend. Chopsticks for both!” this kid is gonna be my new best friend. He just gave me chopsticks and noodles. HEAVEN. Lol. I’m going to have him teach me Mandarin and I can teach him Cantonese.  When I leave Botswana, I plan on knowing about 5 languages. Haha. right. I have to go to Africa to get myself interested in learning Mandarin. I swear, there is something wrong with my brain. Oh well, something to do! We head back and I somehow make my way back to the girl volunteer’s house (getting a bit lost, and having to ask an old lady where the hospital is in Setswana. Awesome, she understood me and showed me how to get there).

Friday, get taken to Borotsi Clinic. Talk to more of the nurses. Try to get more familiar, but the clinic is littered with children and their mothers. So no time to talk, must get all the patients taken care of. I go to the children building and find 3 nurses weighing babies/toddlers and squeezing Vitamin A into squealing children’s mouths. They ask me to sit, give me a razor and tell me to start squeezing. Lol. Awesome, not even my official first day, and I am squeeze Vitamin A into babies mouths. They are all so cute. Some look at me perplexed…as if I am some sort of alien…which I’m sure I am to some. Some cry. Some wave. Some laugh. Some actually open their mouths without needing someone to pry their mouths open. Some spit it back out. Some give me high fives. I thank the ones that I don’t need to pry their mouths open. I smile. I wave. I ask the kids if it tastes good. And send them on their merry way. I do this for about an hour, and we get through about 100 kids. Not too shabby. Afterwards, I tell them I will try to find my way to the mall on my own. Cinch. No problem. I get there in 15 minutes, without absolutely no harassment.  Now that is a first, and I love it. Though I’m not too sure how long that will hold for, but I’ll enjoy it while I can. I meet the girl volunteer at the Home Base Care Center which is an NGO in Bobonong, and she is teaching a Yoga class. Why not, I join. Get some stretches in. Feels good. We invite the other volunteers in our area (with 2 hours radius) to come make pizzas. 4 show up (out of 6…not bad), and the pizzas are delicious. Hang out, talk for a bit. Then off to bed, waking up early to go to the Tuli Block to go look for zebras, giraffes, and elephants!

Saturday, wake up at 515 AM, make French toast with powdered sugar. We start out (3 volunteers and I) and pick up another on the way. And off we go to Tuli block. First thing we see...impala. herds of them. Pretty cool. Then we find a family of warthogs (PUMBAS!!! Lol). Then we see a baby giraffe. I didn’t get any pics cuz it ran off super fast. Then more impala. Then we had to give the car a break, and wander around the bush. Climbed up some rocks. Amazing views. Exactly how you would picture Africa. End up at the border of Botswana and South Africa. Take a cable cart ride over the river to see how awesome the river is and to see if we can find any crocodiles. We see two eyes in the river, we think it’s a crocodile, but could really tell. We head back to see if we can find any other animals. Found some more warthogs. Then stopped at a lodge. It’s like paradise in the middle of the desert. It was beautiful. huts, a pool, overlooking the river, and GRASS. We wander and find prairie mice (I think), baboons, and more impala. I would love to escape to this place for a few days. Then we head back out…and find an ELEPHANT. She’s at a watering hole just drinking up. We slowly sneak up to it, about 200 meters away. It starts to flap it’s ears. So we…slowly back off, don’t really feel like getting charged by a gigantic elephant. Then we head off to a local village, and then observe some beautiful basket weaving (some of the volunteers bought some…) There were baskets, bowls, vases, pots. There was even purple in the baskets, instead of the normal brown. Pretty cool stuff. We leave, and climb up some rocks to see if we can find more elephants…unfortunately we couldn’t find elephants, but a gorgeous view of green trees and desert, just flat grounds. By 4 PM, we are back in Bobonong. Site visit is over. Good week. Thank you. That was exactly what I needed. J

never mind...we have no idea what's going on...

May 19, 2011
We didn't end up going on our site visit. We got stuck in Kanye because of the strike that is happening.
1) They were worried about our safety while traveling
2) Many of our counterparts or people in the office are on strike so not much is going on at the work sites
3) Other volunteers were suggested to stay away from work

So...we are still stuck here in Kanye, and they're saying we can go on Tuesday. But who's to say it still won't be the same situation then? I'm not holding my breath, but i guess it would be a pleasant surprise if it does go through. Dumb. Until Tuesday....

things awry...

May 16^, 2011

Haha. so today was an interesting day. Just another day in the life of a peace corps. This is an organization clearly run by a government. Haha. so I’m moving to bobonong. I am going to visit on Wednesday. I have no idea how I’m going to get there. Where I am supposed to be sleeping on Wednesday night. I can’t find my counterpart. And there is no housing available yet. Apparently, they were a last minute set up for a volunteer. So quick that they didn’t have time to even send a counterpart down for the workshop. I also find out it was a last minute placement because 2 other placements fell through. SWEET. They sound ready for me. Lol. so of course, I get no help from the PC staff…or people that I will be working with because of the strike cuz no one has any idea about what is going on. So time to take matters into my own hands. I call a few volunteers that are in bobonong already. It’s not like it’s their job to figure out all this for me…but strangely they are the only ones that have nearly any idea about what is going on. And this is what we have figured out ON OUR OWN:

1)  I will be taking a bus from kanye to gabs to catch a bus to selibe phikwe. The earliest bus from kanye to gabs is at 6 AM. Next step…how to get to the kanye bus stop at 6 AM? No idea…hopefully my host dad can drive me..

2) I will stay with a few volunteers on Wednesday night in selibe phikwe. Then Thurs head out to Bobonong.

3) My counterpart’s name is Ma….lol. we have no idea. I guess we’ll just have to hunt for her when I get there…

4) One of the volunteers is helping with the looking for housing. She is going to take a look at a few this week…so I guess that I means I might be going house hunting. Sweet. I might be able to CHOOSE my house.

BAH…thanks, PC for all the help! Ugh. Lol. Oh well. At the end of the day…it will be done. Lol. I no longer take time to worry about things working out anymore. Things are the way they are, no use in fighting. And no use in getting riled up about something I have no control over. Just a bit annoyed and maybe slightly delirious from the large amount of boredom I have been attempting to withstand for the past few weeks. (hm…I wonder if I’m going to get in trouble with PC about writing this….lol…oh well. I’ll just wait for them to tell me to take it down if they don’t like it…)

ANYWAYS…big news within the country…

ALL SCHOOLS THROUGHOUT BOTSWANA HAVE BEEN CANCELLED INDEFINITELY. Yes…they have cut off school here in Botswana. There is a strike happening with all the civil servants. They are asking for a 16% raise due to inflation, where the government is only offering a 5% raise. No side is budging. It’s been happening for the past month. At first, it seemed more of just taking some time off. But now it’s really starting to get heated. When I was talking about the kids being incredibly civil, I still think they have done an amazing job, being that they JUST broke today and JUST started destroying/ransacking schools…A MONTH LATER. In America, that would have happened on the 3^rd day if not the 1^st day. But instead of educating these kids who clearly want to learn since they have been patiently been sitting in classrooms without teachers for the past month, they close all the schools indefinitely and tear gas the rowdy children. My sister has no idea when she’s going back to school. She might not go back to school until January. SERIOUSLY…JANUARY?! You just cancel school until JANUARY?! Dude…it’s fricking MAY…no school til JANUARY?! Wow. I had never even fathomed such a thing ever happening.  Eh…but I guess that’s just how this country works? I honestly have no idea if this is a shock to people are not. People are just shrugging and sighing, but not really making a big fuss about it…accepting the fact of the matter. I’m not sure if they are resolved about the situation or if I am just misunderstanding their level of emotions…maybe they just think school will be reinstated sooner than people are saying. I have no idea. I’m not sure anyone really has any idea. But anyways, I’m glad that this country is a peaceful country. Their strikes are definitely not violent by any means. And unsupervised kids are unsupervised kids anywhere. You can’t expect kids to behave any differently anywhere else.

We will see how this strike will affect everything that is happening in this country. Right now, PC volunteers that are working is schools…well, we have no idea what is going to happen to them.  Are they going to stay? Are they going to wait it out? Are they going to be moved? We have NO IDEA. Now with us…working in clinics…if the nurses and the people who run the clinic are on strike, will we have work to do at the clinic? I mean…apparently we do a lot of work at the schools too…so no clinics or schools? Now what? Am I supposed to hang out at the church? With NGOs? Dude, I have no idea. Haha. phrase of the week. I HAVE NO IDEA. Lol. let’s just twiddle our thumbs for a bit and see….AWESOME.  (shoot…am I too political here? Am I taking a side? Cuz I’m not allowed to…if I am…I may get in trouble for this part too…lol)

May 17, 2011

Nevermind. they found my counterpart. or at least 1 of them (apparently I have 3). they have set up a lodge for me to stay in for wednesday night.so looks like i'll be going into bobonong on wednesday. staying at a lodge. then meeting people on thursday. sigh...see how fast things change?! bahumbug. it's tiring trying to keep track of everything. wish me luck!

where am i going for the next 2 years?!

May 14, 2011

Sorry it’s been awhile. Not much has happened in the past couple of weeks. We’ve just been trying to get through training and things have basically stabilized in terms of our routines. So we basically are just running through our routines. So nothing new to report about daily life here.

BUT

Today was the deciding day. Today was the day that determined the next two years of our lives. It’s a pretty crazy interesting moment to completely understand how significant a moment can be and be IN that moment at the same time. Today we found out our sites. J

I WILL BE IN…

BOBONONG! J apparently it’s clinic work. Oh well. That’s ok. I’ll figure something out. It’s on the east side of Botswana. I think it’s around the same size of Kanye, maybe a little smaller. As you can see…I know very little about it. Lol. they speak Setswana, so yay to that. They do have good grocery stores there, so hopefully I won’t have an issue getting cheese. There is no one all that close to me from the Bots 10 group L. but I will be around a lot of the Bots 9 group. So looks like/hopefully I will be making a few more friends J. I’m pretty sure I will have running water and electricity. It was difficult to get excited or sad about my site, because I know so little about it. I guess I can give more of an assessment on Wednesday when I go to visit my site. I’ll be there for a few days to figure out what my job will be and what I will need to buy/bring.

So it’s real. I have a site. I will be in Bobonong for the next 2 years. BTW…it’s called Bob City apparently. Lol. Bob City. Awesome.