eh?! really?!

though i know it's coming...and it's all going to be real...and it's all gonna happen...it still hasn't hit me. but i guess that is how life works...you can't sit around a wait for things to happen or expect them to happen. just let it be, and when the time comes, enjoy it for what it is worth. take life as it comes at you, and make the best decisions that you think you SHOULD make. :)

gathering the thoughts that are left for los angeles...

sorry, my previous post, i guess was perhaps some insight as to why i even wanted to begin this long, arduous journey into the unknown. it's kind of like an overview/outline of what i am trying to accomplish/answer. though there are many more questions i would like answered, but in a way, i want to start with those questions. as more come to mind, i will post them. and hopefully, as time passes, we will slowly see them answered. as many people have said to me, "oh, wow. what you're doing is an amazing thing!" i want everyone to realize i am doing this very much for myself as well. no act goes unselfish (sorry to all you altruistic believers out there, i mean no offense or insult, to each his own, right?). as i've said to many of my friends before, i want to help people, while being selfish at the same time. :) to make others happy, you must find what makes you happy first, only then can you take the time to really understand what people are looking for, cuz that way you are no longer focusing on yourself.

anyways, i was counting today. yes, i am asian...so i should be very good at that. i realized i only have 6 more weekends here. how did that happen?! before i had an indefinite (/ felt neverendingly infinite) number of weekends here, and now i have dwindled down to single digits. in fact, i have dwindled down to single digits of times i will be able to do...this and that. like i can say, i will probably only surf 5 more times before i leave. i will only see some of my friends maybe 1 to 3 more times before i leave. to top it, there are so many things i need to gather before i leave. like what bank account should i be putting all my savings in? what books should i be bringing to study for, GREs or GMATs? etc. all must be put in order prior to leaving. i really must start a list...sigh, something else to put on my list...make a list. lol.

i've been reading up on some volunteers that are already in botswana. i guess they were the group to go before me. i feel like i've been stalking them...(and sorry, if you ever come across this. i don't mean to stalk...more so of HIGH interest in your experienced insight). i'm curious to see what their backgrounds were and how they have helped them. it's always cool to see where they come from, and how they use their past to deal with the present. what experiences are they going through? am i going to encounter the same? how did they deal with it? how would i deal with it? omg...am i going to be able to only do laundry once every 3 months? or be ok with idea of ants crawling on me while i sleep? you know that "myth" that you eat 8 spiders in a lifetime while you sleep? i bet...my number will probably triple the normal statesider then. am i going to be forced to learn and LIKE to fish? it's nice to see the possibilities of what i am getting myself into for the next 2 years. i am holding onto dear life to the idea that i am going to be able to tough it out. *keep your fingers crossed for me, please?!*

oh...and on a sidenote...i jumped out of plane today. i don't believe this to be my last time doing it either. it was fricking AWESOME. :)