I made it through my first week of PST...WOO!

April 12, 2011

Someone please tell me a way to kindly deny eating pink squishy “meat”. It really doesn’t sit so well with me.  Sigh…I would love to cook for them. But I have no idea how to cook their food. Now…I just need to keep telling myself that deal with the 2 week intervals. In 2 weeks I go shadowing…where I follow around a volunteer. That’s in a 2 weeks. Then 2 and half weeks after that I visit my site (which I won’t know for another 4 weeks). Then 2 and half weeks after that…I begin my service. So we have 2 and half week intervals or checkmarks during training. Is it bad that I feel like I am already counting down the days for site?

Today was filled with many uncomfortable situations. 1) one of the trainees got attacked and bitten by 3 dogs. Not so great. A fellow trainee and I were the first ones on the scene. Her leg did not look very good.  2) we couldn’t figure out where our class was. 3) I was served pink squishy meat.  4) I was asked by someone to borrow 50 pula…and felt obliged to provide…even though I’m not supposed to 5) first pick-up encounter…where the guy wanted to follow me home, and couldn’t figure out a way to shake him…until I ran off into my compound.

All in all, today was not my favorite day. By the end of it, I was burned out and slightly cracking. And of course, my super friend to the rescue, Colin, always makes me feel better, even when I am 9 hours ahead, an ocean away, and 23 cents a minute to talk to. (where would I be without him?!)  I got really homesick today. I missed my friends. I missed my family. I missed my life at home. But, hey…I opted for this didn’t i? so I’m trying my best to stick with it. But I’m entitled every now and again to miss home and the people I love. So I’m not gonna feel bad about a little breakdown. It’s gonna happen…but as long as I don’t give up, it’s ok. I just pretended I was at home watching Mad Men (besides the constant spraying and inhalation of bug spray at every bug that comes in my room, cuz I’m paranoid as shit right now about getting bitten…either that shit is gonna destroy my lungs/brain cells, or I’m just gonna get high off it).

April 14, 2011

Ke lapile. I’m tired. I think I figured out why I feel like these 2 weeks have been sooooooo long. It’s my first whole week here in Kayne…and I feel like I’ve been here for months already. But I think I know what it is. I’m ALWAYS on here. Like ALWAYS. You know how normally 9 to 5…you put your work face on? Well here, it’s on ALL the time. I go to school at 730 AM, and from there I learn Setswana for 4 hours. Then I go and learn about the culture or HIV/AIDS. Then I come home at around 5 PM, and people are still always trying to talk to me in Setswana. Which is fine, which is great, because it helps me practice. But I get NO time off, and barely any time to myself. I’m busy making friends with everyone around me. I get soooooo tired of saying to hi to EVERYONE I pass. After a while, saying hi just gets tiring. Who knew, right?! But this is my life. This is what my life is gonna be like for the next 2 years. Well, at least once I get to my site, my home will be my space. So that will be my safe haven. But it’s kinda crazy to think this is gonna be my life for the next 2 years. I guess I’ll get used to it. Maybe I’m still in a bit of culture shock. Didn’t think I would be…but who did I think I was to begin with, thinking that I would be ok all the way through?!

Omg…today was all about FOOD. All day, all the trainees could talk about was FOOD. What we wanted to eat. What we wanted to cook. What we couldn’t wait to eat. What we missed eating. Omg…we just wanted to eat! I think the hardest thing for us to all get used to is the food. We basically eat the same things every day, with a ton of EXTRA salt and sugar to everything. We’ve been burnt out a bit on the food, but we eat it because we don’t want to be rude, or because we need to eat something. Many of us used to eat for taste, not so much cuz we just needed to eat something. So maybe we just aren’t used to not eating for taste. So this is something we’re definitely going to need to adjust to. Or just be ok with for 2 months. Then once we reach our site…hopefully we’ll have WAY MORE control over our food situation.

Side note, do I laugh a lot?! Cuz people here seem to think that I laugh a lot. And they make it a point to comment on it. I ask them “is that a bad thing?!” and they say “no…you just laugh a lot!” i guess I laugh so much, that a local asked me what was wrong with me and if I was high! WHAT?! UH….no! unless maybe off the bug spray…but nothing else! Lol. Jeez people. At least they find it amusing…or I can be more positive…find it enduring? Lol. My sister is funny. We were walking home from the store…and it was dark out. I was like “I can’t see!” and she’s like “Ah…Rati! OPEN YOUR EYES….like this, Rati! OPEN YOUR EYES like this!” and her eyes go super big and I can see the whites of her eyes go as big as my normal eye. I keep having to remind her that I’m asian and my eyes are just made squinty and I can’t open them any wider! lol. We have a good time. We basically walk home just making fun of each other. Glad to see Batswana have the same sense of humor. YAY! J

April 15, 2011

OMFG…WTF is going on?! Lol. Today was a tremendous day. I don’t exactly know how today happened…but it was a whirlwind…and I’m in fucking AFRICA. It’s funny where that statement actually hits us trainees. Today…classes were ridiculously long. Too much to learn…so little time. But we’re getting there.

 Then…we were hit with the saddest news. One of our trainees has to leave due to personal family health issues. It was incredibly heartbreaking and it made me shut up about all my complaining. We were all devastated at the news of him leaving. Many of us (girls) were crying. Of all people, he deserved to be here most. I have never done a prayer before. But I joined into a prayer circle, and I have never been so moved and so proud to be a part of a prayer circle to wish him the best and to be brave. Best of luck to him, and I hope that in the end he gets everything he hopes and strives for in life. We love you and will miss you. You will never be far from our thoughts. And we hope you come back to us! *HUGS* L

Many of us being so sad and shocked by this news, we were in no mood but to unwind. We end up at the nearest watering hole, called the Motse Lodge. And we all are in desperate need for a drink to ease the shock of everything that we have gone through in the last week. And that is what we did…drink. Cheers to our lost comrade. Cheers to surviving our first week of home stay. Cheers to US for just being here. We had some good talks and really delved into everyone’s personalities. We had all sorts of talks that of course led to inappropriate TMI, but at this point, we figured, it’ll be all thrown out there. Glad to see we are all incredibly honest! Apparently, I’m badass. Then incredibly girly. Lol. I think I’m ok with that assessment about me. It started pouring. I ran out into the rain and did a pula dance. I love dancing in the rain. And fuck that…I had rain boots on…so why not?! 2 hours later, we are in a happy, toasty, friendly mood. We have already designated big houses and small houses between the trainees. Lol. We have an awesome group. Since the van can’t hold all 20 of us that went…half of us decide to trek it home. We walk up a hill, and 20 minutes into the walk…AFRICAN RAIN. And when I mean AFRICAN RAIN, I mean DOWNPOUR like I have never seen. THIS IS AFRICA….TIA. I am wearing rain boots, hiking up a hill, getting soaked to the core. I have never been so happy/excited about having a pair of shoes. Rain is coming in ALL directions. SPECTACULAR. All I could do was laugh at this point. I AM IN AFRICA…I AM IN BOTSWANA. I will never have an experience like this again later in life. As awful as that experience of walking home in the rain could have been, it was amazing, because for once…I am finally LIVING life. No more waiting…life is happening. *cheers to living life* (and by the time I got home…I didn’t care about what I was eating!)

April 16, 2011

WOW…day 2 of just CRAZY rain and crazy emotions.

Went to class this morning. Had a counseling session about having one of us leaving. It made us all very somber and really think about everything, like why we’re here, why we’re doing this, everything we’ve left behind, and how uncontrollable everything will be for us at home. Many of us left with tears in our eyes, and once again desperate for a drink. Though we all are trying to be strong, and ignoring a lot of the fears we are feeling about the decision we have made to serve as volunteers…we all felt a lot of vulnerability with the situations we are in. But at the end of the day, we are here for a reason, and we are here because this is what we want to be doing. And as much as this is about trying to make the world a little bit better of a place, we’re also very much here for us, and the dreams and goals we have for ourselves. And the way we’re gonna make it through this is to be strong and to stick together and be there for each other. And with that in mind, collectively we were a lot stronger.

We went to the lodge again after class to just unwind and to celebrate a few birthdays. More TMI conversations came up and we got to know even more about each other. With so much uncertainty in the air about where we’re all gonna end up for the next 2 years, it was good to hear from other trainees about their anxieties, and that we are all in the same boat. I ate a steak and cheese sandwich with fries and a salad. OMG, best meal I’ve had since I’ve gotten here.

A trainee that lives near me and I decide to try to walk home again before the storm hits…NOPE, once again, caught right in the MIDDLE of the storm. We hear thunder, we see lightening in the distance. And this time…it’s not just rain….there’s HAIL. FML. A car passes us they slow down…they continue on. Sigh. 2 minutes later, the car backs up. Stops. Ushers us to get in. It’s a nice middle generation couple…like our parents! Omg…I have never been so grateful for a ride. We jump right in. They are as sweet as they can be. They drive in the pouring/hailing condensation up the hill (that woulda probably taken us another 30 minutes to walk up in the storm…the whole ride up…all we can say is OMG…OMG…OMG…) and drop us off at the other trainee’s house. We thank them a thousand times over for picking us up and helping us out. I sprint as fast as I can back to my house…this time taking the windy short cut path back through the bushes, since I figured no one would be out in ridiculous storm just waiting to jump someone. The path is running like a river. ONCE AGAIN, I LOVE my rain boots. This is EXACTLY what I bought them for. I woulda been cursing the world over if I had been wearing my chucks. I open the door to the kitchen and my host dad and his friend look at me shocked as to how drenched I am. I stand there like WTF just happened…AGAIN. I immediately take off my dripping jacket and rain boots and hang it on the broom cuz I don’t want to get the rest of the house wet. Thank god I was wearing my rain coat today…otherwise it woulda been a wet t-shirt contest for me…and I definitely woulda won. THAT IS A FUCKING STORM. RIDICULOUS.

I’m sitting in my room. I feel like the roof is gonna just cave in under the pressure of the rain and hail that is storming above me right now. I have never heard or seen such a fierce rain storm. It doesn’t help that it is pounding on a tin roof, which just accentuates the sound of the storm. And I’m sitting in the dark because the electricity is out. 

April 18, 2011

I am going to go over more of what my home life/botswana culture is like. Like the cultural differences and similarities. But I gotta sit down and put all my thoughts together. So just you wait...I will post more later this week! and maybe...if your lucky...(and i get more comments :P) i'll have pictures! miss you guys!